Default to Truth and the Pain of Others

"...when we interpret the outward expressions and responses of others and we assume that this is how they really feel on the inside. We trust them."

“To assume the best about another is the trait that has created modern society. Those occasions when our trusting nature gets violated are tragic. But the alternative – to abandon trust as a defense against predation and deception – is worse.” 

– Malcolm Gladwell, Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know

Over 800,000 people worldwide each year succumb to depression and eventually suicide. Depression and anxiety deny the wonderful nature of who we are. Depression often assumes we have less value than we do and anxiety or worry suggests that we aren’t worthy of our joy. There is often no way to tell if someone is facing these very heavy internal struggles. Most people walk around wearing a mask that is not accurate to how they feel in their life. They may feel discouraged but if asked they will give you the upbeat and positive response. Gladwell speaks about this in his latest book, “Talking to Strangers” as our desire to “default to truth” when we interpret the outward expressions and responses of others and we assume that this is how they really feel on the inside. We trust them. Just like when someone you know agrees to go with you on a Saturday luncheon to a new restaurant, but you know they have a history of shrugging off made plans, but you take them at their word because they say to you with a smile’ “don’t worry, I will be there.” So we default to believe what they say, even though there is better reason to believe we may dine alone on this day. The consequences to misunderstanding ourselves and for thinking bad thoughts too often are increased sucicide rates each year and more people who suffer from anxiety and depression. The specifics of each person’s pathology are unique to each person, but depression and anxiety both at their core stem from the person’s inability to stay in the present moment. You can’t feel your joy if you are thinking and worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet or if your thinking about something in your past that may trouble you. Our minds bring everything we think about right into our present moment. So we must try our best to focus ourselves on the beauty of this life, the loving nature of our universe, and the positive emotional content we can always build with each deep breath that we take. I am love. I am joy. I am so very good.

About the author
Tad Inoue is an IFBB Professional League judge, Nutritionist and Professional Diet Coach for many clients and athletes worldwide. Tad has been in the bodybuilding and fitness industry for over 32 years and his clients include professional athletes, top amateur atheletes and all other competitors in figure, bikini, men and women's physique and bodybuilding, as well as individuals interested in optimal health. Tad was a National competitor in the NPC for over 30 years and now focuses his passion, knowledge and experience on helping and instructing others in fitness, wellness and athletic competition. His education includes philosophy, theology, nutrition, biochemistry as well as dietetics. He specializes in contest preparation for Figure, Bikini, men and women's Phyisque, Bodybuilding and fat loss for optimal health. Tad is also a speaker on mindfulness, motivation and joyful positive living.