“Tad’s Happy Bubble”
sorry I haven’t posted in a few weeks. And I haven’t posted any meditations and personal reflections in a while. But I thought I would sit down, now that my life is settling down with all the changes occurring and write from my heart this morning.
“If it isn’t one kind of challenge in this life, it’s another. I can’t pick and choose most days but I can live a life that focuses on what I do love about my life.” -Tadayoshi Inoue
I won’t lie the last two months of my life has been some of the most challenging and some of the most enlightening. Challenging because my boy which I have always relied on to perform as I have needed has struggled with kidney failure. So many processes this bean shaped organs manage. You sure notice it when they stop working. Be grateful that yours function.
But enlightening also in ways I can only say thank you for. I have found out who really loves me and who are just passing by in my life. I have been given the gift of a unique perspective that has allowed me to see just what is really important in my life and what really isn’t. And thus how to spend my time so that it focuses mostly on these elements.
But mostly what I have felt and seen with the new eyes that I now have. The real currency of this life has to do with the quality of the relationships and interactions that you have. It is one thing to have friends, but I am talking about the immense feelings of shared experiences and heart felt love that pours over a person when someone lends a hand or an ear, but especially offers something of themselves.
All I can say is that no matter how long I have left on this earthly domain. I will live in gratitude for all the beautiful blessings of friendship that continually gets poured over my life. Sometimes I do get lonely, but generally I feel fulfilled with my interactions.
My biggest wish is that my daughter feels my love always. That she deeply understands that what she has shown me in my life has been immesurable. That what I have received just my heart can not contain. She is the best of me, she is the best of this life. I know I am not alone in how I feel for my daughter.
I also wish to express my eternal love for my twin brother, Asao. He doesn’t have to do anything in this life to get my love but he does so much. I have been so lucky to have such a partner to walk this life with. I knew when we were children that my brother was the one person I could share anything with and always feel loved.
Sometimes I feel like I failed as a brother, as a husband and as a father. I have fallen short at times. But I know that the love I have offered to my brother, my daughter, and my ex-wives was always authentic and sincere.
I will continue to offer authenticity, and the love that I have. I am finding the my life is really more about the collective of people that I have in my inner circle or family than it is about me. And this feel immensely better than when it is just me.
I am love. I am joy. I am so very good. Thank you!
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Blog post https://tadthedietcoach.com/blog/?p=2012