My Relationship advice

"The best advice I have for anyone recovering from a tragic divorce or relationship is to be single, find your happy again before you drag someone else into your world." -Tadayoshi Inoue

Well it has been a while since I wrote about my love life. It has been such a learning adventure these past 7 years since my divorce. I have dated a few wonderful ladies and had some deep learning lessons that I needed to learn. 

I have learned the most about me and who I really want to show up as each day. Here is just a few things that became clear to me as I have made my way these last several years.

  1. Never think that someone else is the source of your happiness, they aren’t that is your job (nobody else’s)
  2. Take time after a break-up or divorce to get yourself back to your right and happy self, otherwise you just drag your future partner into your misery.
  3. If you can’t be happy by yourself, what makes you think adding another person is going to change things, happiness is cultivated within you it isn’t added to you from anyone or anything else.
  4. Know what is yours and what is the other person’s. We are each responsible for managing our own feelings on every topic, it isn’t anyone else’s responsibility to manage your feelings for you or vice versa.
  5. Know who you are dealing with in a relationship. Don’t take on faith your proposed partners words, dig deeper understand the history of this person in relationships. Most people just repeat their own patterns no matter what they say they just repeat them their whole lives because they think their intentions are the same thing. They aren’t, there are the intentions we have and the actions that we do. Often times they are different with most people. 
  6. If it feels wrong in your gut then walk away! Your body really does know what kind of experience it wants. So if it is saying something is wrong you better investigate it and make sure you understand what it is trying to tell you. 

I have a load more advice that I would give to anyone who is fresh out of a long-term relationship. But this is a good start. My last 7 years have been such a learning journey. I have’t always had a fun time. I have faced narcism, people pleasing and some loneliness at times.

But what I have found is that I am my best partner that I could ever have so I treat myself that way. I am proud to say that my current girlfriend is such a differnet woman than most of the ladies I dated in the past. Mostly because I am now choosing so differently. Before it was all about physical attraction. Today I have to connect in much deeper ways. 

Caroline (my girlfriend in my picture) is someone who is also always committed to doing the inner work we both do. She is one of the most loving and nurturing women that I have ever been with. Most that I have been with where emotionally challenged at best. Lovely ladies but emotionally not connected. Maybe it was me but today I experience a deeply connected and loving relationship with Caroline. 

This year for Thanksgiving I am most thankful for connecting with Caroline. Thank you sweetheart for being so wonderful and allowing me to deeply connect with you. This has been a highlight in all my relationships. They were all pleasing in there own ways but you make this adventure warm and cozy, but maybe that’s that Peruvian in you! I do love the exotic!

I am love. I am joy. I am good. 

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About the author
Tad Inoue is an IFBB Professional League judge, Nutritionist and Professional Diet Coach for many clients and athletes worldwide. Tad has been in the bodybuilding and fitness industry for over 32 years and his clients include professional athletes, top amateur atheletes and all other competitors in figure, bikini, men and women's physique and bodybuilding, as well as individuals interested in optimal health. Tad was a National competitor in the NPC for over 30 years and now focuses his passion, knowledge and experience on helping and instructing others in fitness, wellness and athletic competition. His education includes philosophy, theology, nutrition, biochemistry as well as dietetics. He specializes in contest preparation for Figure, Bikini, men and women's Phyisque, Bodybuilding and fat loss for optimal health. Tad is also a speaker on mindfulness, motivation and joyful positive living.