“What are you offering in all your relationships?”
Everyone at some point will experience conflict in their personal relationships that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It usually means the couple actually cares so deeply about their relationship that they are willing to fight over the success of it. But the real question is how do you resolve this conflict?
How we communicate will often dictate so much in a relationship. If a person is blaming or accusational when they argue your in for trouble. But if they come into the argument willing to learn and open to how the other person actually feels then you stand a great chance of enhancing your experience.
I know that the quality of a relationship no matter how long it lasts is based in what you are offering not what you are receiving or wanting to receive. Most believe that the value of a relationship is all in what you get out of it like love affection and wonderful feelings.
But actually the real answer lay in what you consistently offer. The relationship may end but the quality of your experience depends on what you are willing to offer. Not what you receive. I think this should be the focal point of any argument we have with our lovers.
“How do your feel about …” and “What can I do to help you feel this way or get what you need?” In that moment my needs are immaterial. If my partner has the same perspective she will ask the same kinds of questions. if not then you know what kind of person you are with. And you know what to expect now. Your partner is more worried about what they are getting from the relationship than what they can offer.
If both parties are more concerned with what the other person needs and try to help with it you have a good chance of making this work and getting what you need. If you have a partner who only really cares what they are getting then you are probably moving toward a break-up at some point.
I am no relationship expert, I have had my fails too. But I have identified pathways that will dramatically improve the quality of my experiences with my person.
I am love. I am joy. I am so very good and so are you.
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Picture: me and my twin brother my favorite dude in the world always adding value to my life never asking for anything.
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