When I live my life basing my behavior on knee jerk reactions, then what I am really doing is living my life based on my internal subconscious programs. For good or bad our internal subconscious programs were all developed when we were very young and they helped us get our needs met and they help us now see the meaning we learned in our world.
But so often my subconscious programs really aren’t helping me. They are inaccurate and often they are not valid to the situation. For example, I have acted happy when things go right and unhappy when things go wrong. While this seems logical it is a very limited way for me to actually get my needs met and more importantly, it is very difficult for me to have a consistently happy and joyful experience.
In this case, I have to hope and pray that good things happen for me if I want to feel good. But what if bad things happen? I will then feel bad, and we all know that plenty of undesirable things will happen in our lives. So what is the answer?
The answer is to live with intent to be happy, loving, joyful or whatever I decided. I make my life intentional instead of reactionary. This means I will have to use my focus with much greater control. I can’t just wait for nice things to happen for me in order to feel nice. I have to actively cultivate my own thoughts and messages that I am saying to myself constantly in order for me to always feel as I wish.
This way of intentional living takes practice and eventually becomes habitual but I have to work at this daily. What I most practice will become a natural part of my behaviors.
All this also means that when someone is living in a reactionary life they are really reflecting outwardly what is already going on inside them and calling the reason something else. Because to the reactionary person it really feels like something or someone else is pulling the strings of their emotions. But really its all just a reflection of who they are. They may even be correct with their facts but the reaction is 100% them.
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