Whether it be my relationships or my body, sometimes I have needed to experience something in order for me to know for sure that it wasn’t for me. Being too thin for my own taste, leaving a relationship that was once beloved, or even knowing my favorite flavor or ice cream are all preferences that I must choose. But in order for me to know that I do not want something, I most often have to experience it.
The truth is knowing what I prefer in this life comes so naturally to us all that we hardly think of these things as choices. But the truth is, we choose everything. We choose our truths and we choose how we are going to feel by the direction we emotionally lean in to. The real question each day is, how do I want to feel?
It can be hard to ignore some of life’s painful outcomes. But I believe that pain isn’t a bad thing. Pain is a mentor that teaches me with a whip. When I experience the pain of life it can be quick and sharp and it can sting like hell. But there is no permanent damage to me. Just a mark that will heal if I take note of what I need to stay away from so I don’t feel the lash again.
I am the most wonderful story teller of my life. And I get to choose my preferences based on the narrative I make up about everything I experience and live. I call these manufactured truths my beliefs. Some of them I copy from others, while some I must formulate the meaning myself. But no matter what I am deciding on what I will believe and what meaning my life has every step of the way.
So I choose the best out comes. I choose the best feelings. I choose love. I choose joy. I choose connection with everything and anyone that is willing. Why? Because love, joy and connection feel the best to me. I am love. I am joy. I am so very good always. And so are you.
(Picture: Me and Hadi Choopan backstage at the 2020 IFBB Mr Olympia)
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